Mindful Journaling
Self- analysis
A life-defining moment for me was when I quit my job working for the University of Cincinnati as the CECH content writer. I had been working for UC for about 6 months, and over that quick period, I started to hate working and questioning my path as a writer and a creative. My job felt useless like all I was doing was participating in consumer society and trying to sell people on my product. I couldn’t imagine doing a job like this for the rest of my life, as there was no passion or no purpose behind it, it was solely to receive the paycheck. I realized during that internship that something I required in a future career was bigger than me or money, it was helping others.
I decided that this job was, “getting me further away from the mountain” as Neil Gaiman said. The day I quit that job, I started searching for a new one. I found a startup company called Do Re Me Therapy, which is a music therapy company, that was looking for a content creator. With my journalism and psychology degree, this seemed like the perfect fit.
As I am the only employee for this company, I have meetings with my boss every single day.
My boss, Aaron, is a music composer, a data scientist, and entrepreneur, but most importantly he was passionate about his work and he radiated this joy for life that I haven’t seen in the people I have grown up with. The mission of our company is to spread the power of creativity in mental health avenues. Sir Ken Robinson’s Ted Talk resonated with me as I do feel like the education system steers you away from thinking creatively or thinking independently. I grew up in an environment where creativity wasn’t important and even was considered a waste of time, so realizing that there was value in creating, made me want to explore this creative side of myself that I hadn’t before.
I create all of our social media content and advertisements, which was a first for me. I had to push myself to learn about what looks good and what doesn't, and learn about a topic that I knew little about. But, I loved it. I loved being able to create something that was both visually appealing and informational. I loved coming up with new ideas and thinking outside of the box. I made it my main objective to create valuable content using science and therapeutic tips. I found a way to help people and work off of my skills, as well as create more skills.
Considering my job is to push people to dig deeper into their creative side, I felt that it was only right if I did too. I started utilizing different forms of creativity as ways to express myself. I started painting for fun, I redecorated my room in a way that feels like me, I started writing more, I started utilizing meditation and mindfulness in my day to day and for the first time in my life, I felt passionate about something. For the longest time, I told myself I just wasn't a creative person, but this job and my boss made me realize that every person is creative. It’s like any skill, you have to take the time to learn and practice and you can become anything that you desire.
This job also made me realize that every step I have made, led me here. It was a windy path, full of uncertainty. If I didn’t choose my major and went with something safer, if I didn’t work my two prior internships, if I didn’t quit my job when I did, I wouldn’t have explored this side of myself and found something I am actually passionate about. As the lesson this week touched on, it will all work out if I follow my bliss.
Artistic:
Across from my little yellow house in the middle of Clifton, there is a park open to the public. As I walked here, I didn’t expect much. Maybe some grass, hopefully, a sidewalk, possibly a broken-down swing set. But as I walked over the hill, I saw the huge city sitting below with benches to gaze over her beauty. As I sit on the cold bench, I can hear cars moving swiftly below me, I hear birds wishing the world good morning, and I hear the wind slightly rattling the trees near me, but it feels so quiet. My cold air slightly stings my face as I sit in silence.
As I sit on the cold park bench and walk the bustling city from a distance, I realize how easy it is to become distracted. As I sit and watch the cars honk and move quickly through the streets, I consider where everyone is going in such a hurry. I think about the people below me going through another daily routine of the same thing they do every day. In every little car below is a person experiencing life as I am right now, but each in a different way. It makes me feel small in a way. We often are so worried about ourselves and our life, that we forget to look at other people as people.
It also feels nice to be still and quiet. In the age of social media and streaming services, it's easy to become numb. We go through the motions every day, like the people are doing below me, then we come home exhausted and distract ourselves with more entertainment. But how often are we actually experiencing this life? I have been living in this little yellow house since August, and I never knew about this park. I can say that I have been busy, but I know I have had time. Sitting on this park bench makes me want to do new things often. It makes me want to change up going through the motions, and instead participate in my life. As I watch everyone get to work as quickly as we can, just so we can get it over and do it all over the next way, I consider how quickly we are moving through life. How it’s hard to take the time to be mindful and present when we constantly fill our brains with distractions.
As I take this moment to take everything in it feels energizing. It gives me the opportunity to almost wake up from the hustle and bustle and just be. I have lost sight of the presence as my thoughts tend to focus on what’s next and what has happened. I feel like I am just watching my life pass me by, without realizing how to be a part of it. Maybe the first step to actively participating in my life is learning to just be still and take in the moments as they come. Maybe it’s enjoying my music as I drive to work and being passionate about the job I am doing. Maybe it's going on daily walks to places I have never been. Maybe it’s allowing myself to take me out of my comfort zone and forcing myself to see everything like it’s the first time I am ever seeing it. Maybe it's giving myself the time to just be quiet and still.
